10 Sure-Fire Ways to Rev Up Your Romance

A central feng shui tenet is that marital or romantic happiness is critical component of a happy, well-lived life. And if you’ve had marital or romantic unhappiness, you know how true that can be. Of course, one of the keys to an effective partnership is having the relationship on a solid romantic footing.

A good place to start is where it all starts: the bedroom. Feng shui has stringent rules regarding bedrooms. And, fortunately, these rules are designed with romance in mind. So, take a look around and see if there isn’t something that can be done to your bedroom to make it more appealing — and so that you’ll want to spend more time there!

1. Look around.
Is your bedroom a gender-neutral bedroom design that appeals to the both of you? Remember, men traditionally don’t like floral designs and if your bedroom is flowery, then your man could be experiencing resentment every time he enters the room. Likewise, if you’ve yielded to your man’s furnishing taste you, too, may also grow resentful.

What to do? Well, start from scratch, and if you can, clear out everything from the room (just like they do on those room makeovers on HGTV). Then look at the paint, drapes, carpet, etc. to see if these need changing. A good starting point is to look at the walls. If you are considering painting, select a restful, neutral color, such as those of the color of skin, i.e., beige, taupe, brown, or rose.

If possible, replace loud, flowery, or overly-austere furnishings with ones that are comfortable and make for a serene environment. And for those of you going to bed every night in those awe-inspiring white walls: did you know that the Chinese equate the color white with death? Now there’s a romance-killer! Get out the paint buckets quick!

2. The bed is where it’s at.
Just like real estate, when it comes to the bed, it’s all about location, location, location. Make sure the bed is at the widest part of the room and the door to the room can be seen from the bed. This is a critical feng shui element.

Bed placement is extremely important especially if the bed is placed on the same wall as the bedroom door. This will bring serious disagreements for the couple. The bed should also not face a bathroom, see a toilet, share the same wall as a toilet, or be directly opposite a door. It’s also best if the bed doesn’t face a closet or bookshelves of some kind.

Also, be sure to give yourself some support. Beds that have the headboard to a window give the couple little support. If this is the best (or only) position for the bed, place a wooden screen between the bed and the window to simulate a wall or hang heavy drapes that can be closed at night.

And when it comes to your bed, it is always a good idea to have a bed that belongs only to you and your mate. Beds used in previous relationships bring those former relationships into your love life. If this is your situation, but you hate to get rid of a perfectly good bed, then donate it to a charity. Take the write-off and then buy yourself a new bed and mattress and give it to yourselves as an anniversary present.

Remember, in your house, the bed is the No. 1 symbol of your union. Make it a nice one with luxurious pillows and comforters or spreads. Lastly, don’t go out without making your bed. Really, now, how hard is it to make a bed? Do it together. After all, how romantic is an unmade bed? The appeal of the bed is tearing back the covers, now isn’t it?

3. Look Up.
Got a ceiling fan whirring above your bed? Lots of us do. This could be cooling you down… literally and romantically! Ceiling fans above the bed disrupt your body’s chi (energy) — and your romantic chi. Rather than rip the fan out of the ceiling (unless you want to), try placing red dots on each fan blade. You also might avoid turning on the fan for a week and see what happens… who knows?

4. Look down.
Do you have all kinds of junk stashed under your bed? Maybe you have dust-bunnies the size of Dallas lurking under there. Clear it out and place a crystal sphere at the foot of the bed. These are believed to enhance relationships. Or, if you have an amethyst geode, place it at the foot of the bed. These are also believed to be marriage enhancers. Get the spheres at design stores, and get geodes at nature stores, gem shops, or gem and mineral shows.

5. Look away… from the TV, that is.
When it comes to building your romance feng shui, TV in the bedroom becomes just that: TV in the bedroom — and nothing else.

Television is a distraction to romance and it takes away from a room’s restful qualities because when it’s turned off, the TV acts like a mirror, reflecting you and your sweetie in bed.

This disrupts your chi and can even cause insomnia. Still not convinced? Experts on insomnia also recommend that TV’s stay out of the bedroom because it sends a signal to the occupant(s) that this place is only for rest.

Remember, when it comes to your romantic bedroom, you should only be using it for R&R: rest and romance. Watch television in your family or living room only.

But be warned: If you take the TV out of the bedroom he’ll fight, he’ll cry, he’ll wail and gnash his teeth, but stand firm, and tell him you only want two things turned on in the bedroom: you and him. Now, if that’s not a convincing argument, I don’t know what is!

6. Change your sheets.
But you already knew that, didn’t you? But did you also know that, just like the bed, if the sheets on the bed are brought to the marriage from a previous relationship, or worse, a divorce, that the old energy lingers here? Yuck. Used or inherited linens should also not be used on the bed.

Adorn your bed only with new sheets and keep them reserved only for yourselves. Feng shui teachers say that pink sheets are the best choice because they have the “fire” from the color red but are in a more sentimental shade of red.

If you’ve got old sheets on the bed that are torn and tattered, what does it say about the emphasis you place on your romantic life? Treat yourself to some nice linens that feel wonderful and MAKE you want to hop into bed!

7. Remove mirrors.
Mirrors placed across from the bed or that can be seen from the bed can “divide” the couple and create insomnia. Mirrors should be kept in the bathroom or hallway and out of the bedroom.

Most of the time, you can use mirrors from dressers in other locations in the house. How about above the fireplace or down a long hallway? Both of these places can benefit from a mirror, so why not relegate the mirror to an area where it can be helpful instead of hurtful?

8. Decorate sparingly.
Decorating the room correctly is important. Look at all the elements here to get more ideas about appropriate decorating for your romantic retreat.

Plants, water, and flowers: Take all plants, flowers, and water features out of the bedroom. The Chinese say that “rice sticks together when it is warm,” imparting the wisdom of keeping the bedroom romantic.

Water and plants can drown the energy in a couple’s bedroom. Even pictures featuring water, ice, or snow are poor bedroom decorating choices. Flowers give off too much male energy, also making a poor choice for a restful bedroom. Dried flowers should be removed as they are dead energy.

Artwork and pictures: Does yours inspire passion or love? What do the items on your dresser or the art on your wall say about your love life? Hopefully, you don’t have one of those pictures of dogs playing poker.

Now, if there is one place for erotic art, this is it. Tasteful nudes or statues of “The Kiss” are perfect here. Take an extra critical look at what’s hanging above your bed. Is it inspiring? Bet you never gave your bedroom this much thought, ever!

Consider other objects de amour in your room. Wherever possible, use pairs of objects. Two lovebirds, two vases, etc., are a good idea. Try matching prints for the bedroom or two photos of the both of you, one on each of your bedside tables. And while you’re at it, take a close look at the pictures in your bedroom.

Are there photographs of your children, your grandparents, friends, or others in the bedroom? If so, these pictures are symbolically looking at you! Remove all pictures of people except for those of you and your love. Placing your wedding picture here or any other happy, romantic picture that you like. It will be a nice reminder in your shared space that the two of you are a couple.

Work, work, work: By all means, eliminate “work” objects. These can be treadmills or other exercise equipment, desks, computers, bookshelves filled with work-related books, or objects that remind either of you of something to do. Even hobbies and projects are not good choices for your love nest.

Know what else is a romance killer? Clutter. It reminds us of work. Can you imagine what, if any, romance was going on in this room! Remember, hotel rooms make us instantly relaxed when we walk in because they are spare.

9. Houston, we have a problem.
Is your room is good working order? Is the carpet coming up or do the windows stick? Your room must function well on all levels. This includes making sure the door opens and closes correctly – and locks, too! Oil creaky door hinges.

Privacy is also important for couples. Having a lock – and using it, too – sends a strong signal that your romantic life is important, yours alone, and private. This also means making sure you have privacy measures, too. Blinds or other curtains to cover the windows should be working… and used.

10. Create your own love shrine.
Put a picture of the two of you, a dish with a rose quartz crystal or clear quartz crystal, a heart figurine, a candle, or a small lamp in the southwest corner of your bedroom. Dedicate this area for this purpose. Keep the lamp turned on at least 3 hours each day so that it can shine on the crystal.

Place mementos in a box here, or anything that is very personal and significant to the two of you. Place a CD or tape player with music you both love here so you play it when you are alone together in the room. You can put anything here that is romantic and makes you think of love. Try to decide on items together, selecting the things that are meaningful, and inspiring, for you both.

© K Weber Communications LLC 2002-2009
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Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in classical Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE Ebook “Easy Money – 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui” visit http://redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!

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11 Feng Shui Secrets to Attract Love, Celebrate Love, or Get a Commitment

February brings a cascade of red and pink items that keeps everyone’s mind of love. From the littlest children handing out cartoon Valentine cards to classmates to couples’ most intimate and romantic expressions, the Valentine holiday energy captivates everyone. And why not? Who can resist the pull of love, chocolate – and all that red energy!

Regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship, everyone benefits when attention is paid to those we love, or want to love. Our relationships are a key component to our personal happiness and having loving relationships make us feel fulfilled. Having someone to love, whether that is a friend or a spouse is also central to our sense of well-being. Having a committed, devoted love, though, is what most people strive for.

Feng shui is a great tool for creating opportunities for love. That’s because feng shui opens the way for love to enter your life. Whether that love is for a lifetime or whether this love is your soul mate depends a lot on your “heaven luck,” or karma. However, feng shui can bring you the “opportunity” for love and this is what everyone wants – at least the opportunity to find that perfect match. What if you are already in a relationship? The good news is that you can still use feng shui to help you strengthen your love ties with your spouse or partner.

Don’t let this February get past without making it your month for love! Go all out for those hearts and flowers and see what happens! Oh, and be sure to tap the 15th night full moon of the Chinese New Year to tap into your own love luck.

1. Light the way for love on the night of a full moon.
Purchase a low ceramic or glass bowl (red is best). Fill this with stones, such as amethyst, citrine, quartz, or glass beads. Keep in mind that stones with purple, yellow, red, and white colors are best. Place three red or pink candles in the bowl. Light the candles on the night of full moon to bring love to you or to make your love light burn brighter. You can do this on the full moon of any month.

2. Blow bubbles of love at the full moon.
Blow bubbles under the full moon and with them your wishes for a mate.

3. Release a yellow love balloon on the night of a full moon.
Write your lover’s name and your love wishes on a yellow balloon on the night of a full moon. Write your wishes in red ink and release to the moon.

4. Send flowers according to the maturity and state of your love.
Serious, committed, or married love: Send red or yellow flowers. These show the passion, steadfastness, seriousness and depth of the relationship.
Looking to marry: Send yellow flowers. These show serious intention, and the yellow color brings the kind of mother earth luck that solidifies relationships.
Wanting to start a relationship: Send pink flowers. These show sentimental intention that won’t overpower a relationship that is just beginning. It will cause the recipient to have sweet and tender feelings for the sender. Trying to revive a relationship? Pink is the color to send.
Note: if you send roses, be sure thorns are removed or these could damage the relationship.

5. Get goosey with the noncommittal types.
Geese symbolize lifelong love. Purchase and place a pair of decorative geese, the type of geese that are placed in the yard, in the SW corner of the garden for long-lasting love. For lovers who won’t commit, hang pictures of geese in his/her bedroom to help cement the bond and make the commitment.

6. Buy crystal hearts.
If you’re looking for love, buy a crystal heart and put it on a red cloth. Put this in the SW corner of your desk or in your bedroom. Do this regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not. If you are in one, it will help enhance your relationship. If you aren’t, it will help bring you one!

7. Missing the SW corner of your house?
Place a big boulder or cement object here to create the missing earth energy. Maybe THAT’s why your relationship has been troubled?

8. Create a “Love Garden.”
Outdoors, this would include pairs of plants that bloom with red, pink, or yellow flowers. Be sure to intersperse them with stones or boulders. Add a Kwan Yin statue, if you like. Lights on the SW part of the garden are extra beneficial!

9. Living alone? Get the benefit of “Big Earth.”
The relationship sector is symbolized by “big earth.” If you live alone and want to enjoy relationship luck, put a picture of a mountain, or a mound of stones, or a large geode in your living room to give you “big earth” luck. This will help solidify and keep relationship luck from getting away.

10. Singles: Make sure you have Sun or Moon energy.
For men who live alone, make sure there is feminine energy in the house. Hang a picture of the moon or a woman in a prominent place, such as the bedroom or living room. Women, if you live alone, make sure the house doesn’t get too girlie or too yin! You need the manly yang energy to draw a man to you. Hang a picture of the sun in the house and make sure there is plenty of light in the house.

11. Keep the heartfires burning.
Keep a light on in the SW corners/sector to keep your relationship warm or to draw love to you.

© K Weber Communications LLC 2002-2009
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Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in classical Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE Ebook “Easy Money – 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui” visit http://redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!

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You have permission to publish this article as long as the tagline above is included and no changes are made to the article. A courtesy copy of your publication or link would be appreciated.

Taking Inventory – How Evaluating Your Relationships is Good Feng Shui

A friend once told me “You are only as happy as your unhappiest child.” But that statement could also be said of our friends and family, too. We have relationships in our lives that bring us joy and relief and others that drain us and make us miserable. The key is to balance our lives so that we’re not always on the giving end or that we never receive the benefits of relationships.

Our relationships make us happiest when they’re in balance. That’s when we can offer our love and friendship and assistance and when we can also expect to receive it in return. The problems begin when relationships are out of balance. Many times relationships are characterized by either giving or taking -and with one person doing all of one or the other. Sometimes your relationships are fine, but you have outgrown the person or have little in common with them.

So much of our personal growth and happiness is tied to others. And, not all relationships are supportive of either your growth or happiness. Give some thought to the relationships in your life and to the ones that keep you from moving forward or make you feel stuck and frustrated. See if you recognize any of these people and if they’re in your life. Then, use the ideas that follow to help you move ahead in your relationships, in your happiness, and in your growth.

“TTT” Person
This is a person who firmly believes that it Takes Two to Tango. In other words, while this person may start an argument or create a problem, they always “include” someone else in it and share the blame. It might take two to tango but it only takes one person to trip the other dancer. Sometimes the problem rests with one person and if you’re constantly getting tripped it might be time for a new partner.

The PAD
The “pad” is short for “Passive Aggressive Drain.” People who are passive aggressive are like a leech that drains blood, only this person will drain the life force from you. This is the person who makes you call, you speak first, you have to ask questions to get any information and it’s work just being with them. These friends are famous for withholding information, emotions and keeping you guessing. In short, you’re doing the tap dancing while they sit and watch. A classic response is when you share some great news and they say….nothing. These folks are really hard on us. There’s only one thing that gets through: retreat.

The Poor Learner
This friend makes the same mistakes over and over again and keeps coming back to you for a shoulder to cry on. This person rarely “gets his act together” and definitely doesn’t grow. This person is addicted to his or her drama or whatever it is that their problems do for them. Otherwise, if they weren’t getting high off the drama/pity/anger or other emotion, why wouldn’t they learn? It’s hard to continue to be supportive of this person and over time they drain you of sympathy – and patience.

The Taker
We see these people everywhere in life. They can range from friends to coworkers to clients. They always want what they can get from you and rarely offer anything back. If you’re always looking for ways to get something out of someone or something, make a point to start giving. If you’re the one always doing the giving, then close up shop and stop giving away the free samples. People will take advantage of us as much as we let them.

These are just some of the common relationship types and these people may be our children, our spouses, coworkers or friends or some combination. Regardless of the relationship, it’s important that you either move on or change your response to them. We keep ourselves in a cycle when we continually respond the same way. And although the relationships may still be around, they will change when you respond to them differently.

We must understand that relationships are often the linchpins of our unhappiness and that they keep us tethered to unhappy circumstances. Too often we believe that removing relationships amounts to “throwing away” our friends and family. This is not true. But, we can limit our interactions, come to truthful conclusions about our happiness and our relationships, and we can choose to move ahead in our own lives by moving past some relationships.

When we allow this to happen we often fill the void with an improved relationship or with a new relationship with another person that’s better for – and to – us. And, then our lives can get growing again.
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©Kathryn Weber

Publisher, The Red Lotus Letter

Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in authentic Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE E-book “Easy Money – 3 Steps to Building Massive Wealth with Feng Shui” visit www.redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!