By Kathryn Weber
One of the greatest joys of living is having someone who belongs to you and whom you belong to. Just knowing you have a partner in life to lean on provides us with fulfillment. Singles will say they have the love of friends and family….but.
The “but” is that they don’t have a partner – a wife, a husband, a girlfriend or boyfriend. They say it’s just not the same as when you have someone in your life that you are committed to and who is committed to you.
And it’s true. It’s not the same, and it doesn’t matter whether you are gay or straight. Having a loving partner in your life gives you a feeling like no other.
So, what can be standing in the way of your partnerships?
There’s a variety of things that can stop or block you from having the love you want in your life. To be honest, your house could be a lonely home.Energy in your home is a living thing, and if you go home day after day to the same place and are single a long time, your home could be holding you back.
Am I suggesting you move? No, but just think about this.
I have several long-term single clients and guess what they have in common? They’ve never moved. Ever. As in, they’ve been in the same apartment for 15-35 years.
They say they want love in their life, but I think their single life suits them just fine, truthfully, and they don’t want to budge from their little nests. They’ve pulled up their homes around them like a giant security blanket and their home becomes their partner in their life.
Let’s think about other ways your home could be keeping you lonely.
Holding on to pain.
This can be old love letters, a photo album from a past trip together or some kind of symbol of your relationship, like the bedroom furniture you bought together. Even if you cut yourself out of a picture with your former boyfriend and put that picture up, you’ll always know that when you took that photo, he was standing there beside you.
Take these kinds of mementos and elements out of your living space and your life. Clear the way for someone new and something new to come into your life. This includes ashes of pets or loved ones. You must remove them from your home to invite living – and loving – energy in to your home and life.
A lonely home is often the sign of a kitchen that’s gone cold. You know how it is at every holiday gathering – everyone is in the kitchen. If you’re single, don’t reinforce that singleness by eating out every night or filling the freezer with microwave dinners for one. Get some real food in there.
It’s important that you keep your kitchen fires burning by actually using your stove. Even if you bake muffins to bring into work, that warms up your home – and turns a cold kitchen into one that’s cooking and turns your house into a warm home.
It makes sense, too, if you think about how your kitchen can draw love to you. The area associated with love in feng shui is the stomach – and everyone loves to be fed (especially men!). Keep your kitchen heated up to jump start a cold love life. You can even add a small night light to keep your home fires burning at night too.
Whether this is a picture, a painting, or an object, when we see something that’s a single, we see one and it’s “oneness” overtakes our life. Make it a point to make sure your bed is flanked by two tables, that your artwork doesn’t depict a single woman or man, and make sure to have plenty of pairs around the house. Not only does this help your home feel more balanced, but it ads “couples” energy to the house.
A lonely home can often find that the energy is centered around a pet bird, a lanky Labrador Retriever, or some other fur-baby. Make sure that your pet doesn’t sleep on the bed with you and sleeps on his or her own bed, otherwise, the pet’s energies take precedence over relationships. It’s tempting to snuggle at night with fluffy, but do it on the sofa if you just have to.
Plants are wonderful feng shui, but there can be too much of a good thing. Whether it’s plants or flowers, it’s important to recognize that plants draw energy from earth, and earth is the energy of love and relationships. If your prized African violet collection has overtaken your guest bedroom and you’ve been single a long time, you might know why now.
Check the southwest corner of your home to see if there is a plant here that is draining your romance chi, and make absolutely certain there are no plants or flowers in your bedroom as these will drain the romance right out of your life. And, yes, flowery sheets or bedding counts. Add something nice and neutral and then see what happens!
When it comes to feng shui and beds, there are a few hard and fast rules. One is that you should always be able to easily see the door from bed, and the other is that you should have a good, solid headboard. Many people who are having problems with money or relationships often won’t have a good solid headboard. This enables you to think clearly, too.
When you’re aching to have someone in your life, your bed represents the symbol of a couple’s union, so it’s important to get it right. If you can’t or don’t want to give up your mattress that’s come from a past relationship, try to put it into sunlight for four hours. This will help you remove old energy – and give it a nice airing out too. Look for other sources of problems, such as headboards with slats, no headboard, sagging mattress, furniture from your past partner.